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A Christmas Carol

Script Excerpts

Act I, Scene 1--Part 2

SOLICITOR #1

Scrooge and Marley's, I believe.  Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?

SCROOGE

Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years.  He died seven years ago, this very night.

SOLICITOR #2

We have no doubt his liberality is well represented by his surviving partner.

SCROOGE

And who are you that you should barge into my shop.

SOILICITOR #1

Sorry to intrude Mr. Scrooge, but our business is pressing.

SCROOGE

And what might that be?

SOLICITOR #2

At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge, it is more than usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor and destitute who suffer greatly at the present time.  Many thousands are in want of common necessities; hundreds of thousands are in want of common comforts, Sir.

SCROOGE

Are there no prisons?

SOLICITOR #1

Plenty of prisons.

SCROOGE

And the Union workhouses?  Are they still in operation?

SOLICITOR #1

They are.  Still, I wish I could say they were not.

SCROOGE

Oh!  I was afraid, from what you said at first, that something had occurred to stop them in their useful course.  I'm very glad to hear it.  Good day.

SOLICITOR #2

Under the impression that they scarcely furnish Christian cheer to the multitude, a few of us are endeavoring to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink, and means of warmth. 

SOLICITOR #2

We choose this time, because it is a time, of all others, when want is keenly felt, and abundance rejoices.  What should I put you down for?

SCROOGE

Nothing!

SOLICITOR #2

You wish to be anonymous?

SCROOGE

I wish to be left alone.  Since you ask me what I wish, that is my answer.  I don't make merry myself at Christmas, and I can't afford to make idle people merry.  My taxes help to support the establishments I have mentioned and they cost enough.  Those who are badly off must go there.

SOLICITOR #1

Many can't go there; and many would rather die.

SCROOGE

If they would rather die, they had better do it, and decrease the surplus population.

SOLICITOR #2

Sir, surely you understand they’re plight…

SCROOGE

It’s not my business.  It is enough for a man to understand his own business, and not interfere with that of other's.  Mine occupies me constantly.  Good afternoon.

(the SOLICITORS leave.  SCROOGE resumes his work.)